


if we were a movie

by seungbinsung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, edited 201023, hinted hwang hyunjin/lee minho, jisung just wants his life to be a movie, like really cliche you'd roll your eyes, mentioned han jisung/lee felix, mentioned kim seungmin/yang jeongin, mentions of violence and blood, seungmin please stop being a coward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 16:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21019049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungbinsung/pseuds/seungbinsung
Summary: Han Jisung is a sucker for a cliché love story. No matter how predictable the storyline, he would always cry. He just never expected his life to be turned into a typical love story.or, jisung is in love with his best friend, seungmin and he keeps blaming it on movies.





	if we were a movie

**Author's Note:**

> seungsungers are all sonstarved i almost feel bad but we’re in this together. s/o to [madison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frooster/pseuds/Frooster) for beta’ing and cheering me on to write this!! spread the seungsung agenda folks!
> 
> enjoy x

***

In movies, best friends stay as best friends until the end, supporting and cheering each other on. Jisung thought he and Seungmin were _ those _ typical best friends from the movies. 

The typical best friends trope would have a wild start to their story. For Seungmin and Jisung, they had a fight over a swing set in pre-school pushing each other off until one gave up. Once Seungmin had won, Jisung sat in the corner, tears streaming down his face. He hated how vulnerable he actually was, but Seungmin didn’t hesitate to let go off his spot on the swing to cheer up the crier, teasing him to get him to smile. The teasing eventually turned into a friendship, one that was unbreakable and promising.

Throughout elementary, Jisung and Seungmin would stay at each other’s house so much that both of the parties’ parents had a wardrobe for the other in their house. (Even a toothbrush!) Often times, they didn’t even bother telling their parents where they would be just because their parents would know they were at either houses.

They talk about everything to nothing during those years. Jisung went from wanting to be an astronaut, to a teacher, to a doctor, he even wanted to be a tattoo artist for one time, until he finally settled to aspire to be a musician. 

He remembered looking at Seungmin, his eyes twinkling as he listed the only thing he wanted to be and his plans for his future. He could sense the passion and determination from his eyes. Jisung thought to himself that 10, 20, even 50 years from when that had happened, he could still see the way Seungmin’s eyes shined through. Something about his expression was admirable to say the least, and Jisung loved seeing that from him.

And if that was a movie scene, Jisung would think about soft music and a montage of Seungmin’s future life, hopefully still with Jisung, and show how much he’s changed, yet his eyes would remain the same. Like he’d never let go of the stars.

In middle school, Jisung often get in trouble. Bullies had painted him a target for his cheeks and the fact that he was shorter than most guys (puberty took its time with Han Jisung), and his response was violence. Seungmin didn’t let anything happen to him though. He was always right behind him, scaring the kids away with his technicalities and–of course–using the teacher’s pet card. 

Though, one time, without Seungmin by his side, Jisung finally fought back and ended up getting detention. His mother called in to get him out of it but when Jisung arrived home, his mother didn’t say a word about the trouble at school. In fact, she asked him how was school, and he had to cross his eyebrows, wondering if she was disappointed and wanted another side of the story and if that was his punishment. But she looked at Jisung with a soft smile with no hint of disappointment, offering a sandwich she always prepared for when he comes home from school. Jisung lied and said it was good, and his mother had dropped it. (He later learned that Seungmin convinced his older sister to pretend to be Jisung’s mother so he wouldn’t get in trouble both at home and in school. He never got to thank him and his sister, but it was acknowledged that Jisung appreciated it.)

Jisung came out to Seungmin before they graduated middle school. It was one of their sleepovers, Seungmin and Jisung were loudly laughing. Seungmin’s mother had even knocked a couple of times, telling the boys to quiet down and that she (and his father) could hear them next door. The two apologized, but snickered some more once the door shut close. 

Lying on their backs, they talked even more, wanting to beat their record of staying up until 12am. (For a middle school kid, that's a big accomplishment!) Their stories and giggles slowly died down but Jisung didn’t want it to stop. He still had to tell Seungmin something after all.

Jisung fiddled with his shirt–he tends to do that when he’s nervous, but he never noticed it until Seungmin pointed it out to him. 

(“Why do you do that?” Jisung looked up at Seungmin, his head tilted to the right pointing at his fingers that was fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Do what?”

“Don’t make me say it twice,” Seungmin pouted. “I meant_ that_,” he pointed closer to Jisung’s fiddling fingers, and even demonstrated for him.

“Why do _ you _ tilt your head to the right?”

Seungmin frowned at that straightening his head, and then cracking a smile, “I guess we do things we don’t really intend to do huh?”

“We just never realize things though it’s obvious,” Jisung told him. Back then he was unsure of his words. Even now, he never found out what he had meant with that.)

Beside him, he heard a snort, “You good, Ji?”

Jisung turned his head to his right where Seungmin, still looking up at his glow-in-the-dark galaxy stickers on his ceiling. 

“Hmm?”

“You’re fiddling your shirt again.”

“Ah,” Jisung forced himself to stop, not wanting to keep Seungmin wondering what was on his mind, “It’s nothing.”

“Sounds fake,” Seungmin said, now locking eyes with Jisung. “What is it?”

“I just,” Jisung started. “Can you grab me a glass of water? I’m really thirsty.”

Seungmin’s eyebrows furrowed, “That’s it?” Jisung nodded, “You know, you practically live here, you can just go and grab it,” he laughed before getting up himself anyway. 

Before he could turn his heel and leave the room, Jisung grabbed his wrist, staring at his eyes. Seungmin tilted his head, he took this as his opportunity to finally say whatever it was he needed to confess.

“I’m gay.”

It was quiet. Way too quiet for Jisung’s liking. Like a scene in the movie where you can feel your heart bursting out, wanting to escape whatever the sudden confession was about. That if you were watching it, you’d hold yourself tight and maybe even hide your face a bit afraid of the reaction though it’s not a horror film you don’t want to see the part of. 

Seungmin shot his head back, and Jisung feared that he was going to look at him differently. But it’s _ Seungmin._ He couldn’t possibly abandon him for just loving the same gender. Still, Jisung was afraid of his reaction, but it was immediately eased down when Seungmin smiled at him.

“I’m not straight either,” he confessed. “I’m pansexual.”

“Oh,” Jisung mumbled, shocked at the sudden reveal. He never really assumed that Seungmin could be into guys as well. Then again, he never try to assume anyone’s sexuality, it’s not his business to pry to. “So. Boys?”

Seungmin stifled a laugh, “Yeah, boys.”

“Now’s probably time to say I didn’t really need water,” Jisung grinned, still shaking. “I just didn’t know how to say it.”

Seungmin gave him a shy smile, before jumping back to bed, grabbing Jisung’s petite waist closer to him, “I love you, Sungie. No matter who you love.”

Jisung sighed in relief, “I love you, too, Min.” And he found himself say that with no hesitations, no heavy pain in his heart nor anxiety over the words. He said it so freely that he doesn’t know when will be the next time he can say those three words meaning it the exact same way he just did to Seungmin.

Typical best friends don’t fight. But they always have _ that _ one big fight that only solidifies their friendship when it’s over. For them, it was all for Hwang Hyunjin in freshman year. Both of them had developed a disgusting high school crush on him, and the two ended up fighting over who gets to date him. Seungmin would always tell Jisung how he met him first and introduced him to Jisung, which he did, but Jisung would argue that he admitted to liking him first, which was his international code for “dibs”. (“He’s not something you could put dibs on, you moron,” Seungmin had insulted him.) This lead the best friends to start ignoring each other, being competitive and sabotaging each other’s works to ruin the chance of getting with Hyunjin. It didn’t occur to them how destructive they were being until Hyunjin shared a story about his boyfriend of three months, a dancer two years older than them, who attended a different school. The two ended up with nothing but to fall in each other’s embrace after the revelation.

(“I hate you,” Seungmin mumbled through the hug. Jisung laughed at that, biting an ‘I hate you more’ and making a deal with Seungmin. From then on, they swore not to let a guy ruin their friendship.)

In junior year, Seungmin started dating Yang Jeongin, a sophomore who he had enjoyed teasing. Jisung enjoyed his presence. He was a giddy sophomore, full of pranks that matched his best friend’s personality, of course he had enjoyed his presence. That same year Jisung started dating Lee Felix, an exchange student from Australia. He wasn’t sure if Seungmin enjoyed Felix’s presence in the group, but he never made a big deal out of it. He would always try to get him involved as much as possible in the conversations, and even after Jisung and Felix had broken up, Seungmin still talked to him in their classes. Safe to say that Felix and Jisung ended well, however, the one thing Jisung couldn’t get his mind wrapped around on was Felix’s reasoning for the break up.

The four of them would always hang out (before their breakups); Seungmin dragged Jeongin to whenever there’s a music club event, cheering far way louder than Felix. Jisung would then drag Felix to Seungmin’s yearbook club just to “hang out” in the classroom but not wanting to join, but to be a “moral support”.

One time, Jisung even brought Felix to a date, saying how it was inspired by Seungmin because of how much his best friend had enjoyed it, so he thought maybe his boyfriend would too. He didn’t notice, or maybe didn’t _ try _ to notice, that Felix’s smile faltered after he had said that.

Seungmin knocked on the door to Jisung’s room one weekend. He had already entered the house–of course, he had the code memorized and even had the key to his house for whenever he needed it. Jisung opened the door and his arms to his crying friend. He mumbled something along the lines of him and Jeongin fighting and breaking up just now. Seungmin didn’t tell Jisung the reason, not that it was his business, so he just let him cry on his shoulder. When Seungmin loves someone, he gives them all of his heart. Maybe that’s why it was harder for him to let go of Jeongin compared to Felix and Jisung’s breakup that happened not long after Jeongin and Seungmin had broken up. 

The older let Seungmin cry on his shoulder for the entire night of their breakup. Cooing soft words to him, even singing him a song to help him calm down. Eventually, Seungmin fell asleep leaning on Jisung’s shoulder, fresh tears still on his cheeks. Jisung smiled at the sight of his best friend at peace. He couldn’t hate Jeongin, no, that would be irrational, but he hated how his best friend shed all those tears for _ him_. 

He wiped the tear off Seungmin’s cheek, a soft smile appearing on his face, but Seungmin was still asleep. Carefully, Jisung leaned the younger flat on the bed so he could be more comfortable. Once Seungmin had his whole body connected to the blanket, Jisung knew he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon. He got up to throw the glass–now empty of water–from his side table to the kitchen, not wanting to hear his mother’s nagging words about how he hogs all the dishwares in his room. But, he was stopped when Seungmin caught his wrist.

“Min, I just have to put this in the kitchen,” he whispered, holding the glass on his other hand that wasn’t gripped by his best friend.

“Do it tomorrow,” he said, his eyes still closed, “Just please _ stay _ with me.”

Ah, fuck it. He can handle the nagging from his mother tomorrow. 

Jisung lied back down next to him, resting his head near Seungmin’s nape, a soft chuckle escaping the younger. He held Seungmin tightly, maybe together they can make each other feel better. Jisung didn't know what was it that bugged him more that night—the inevitable case of his mother’s nagging or Seungmin’s breakup.

(It was totally worth it to hug Seungmin despite his mother scolding him for keeping a glass, _ again_, in his room the next day.)

When Felix and Jisung broke up, he wasn’t at all shocked. He knew it was bound to happen with the way Felix had acted around him and Seungmin (Jeongin had completely cut ties off with Seungmin then, at least that time). Jisung bitterly laughed, not for being dumped, but rather at Felix’s words:

“I think you’re in love with your best friend, Jisung.”

It was baffling to say the least. How Felix, who’s known Jisung for two years only, to even say that. He wasn’t in love with Seungmin. It was impossible! Best friends don’t fall in love with each other, that debunks the whole idea of best friends. (And it _ especially _ debunks his typical best friends trope in movies.)

“What?”

Felix stared at him, “You brought me to a date, based off what your best friend likes and interests. You spend more time admiring him rather than me, your–well, your ex-boyfriend.”

“He’s my best friend, of course I admire him.”

“There’s a gray shaded area,” Felix demonstrated with his hands, “And I’m pretty sure you crossed that area of admiring Seungmin platonically or admiring him romantically.”

It didn’t make sense. At least not to Jisung. He couldn’t possibly be in love with Seungmin. That was how they’ve always been, and no one has ever concluded that he was in love with him.

“Did you know Jeongin and Seungmin broke up because of you?” Felix asked, breaking Jisung’s trail of thoughts.

“What?” he asked dryly. Sure, Seungmin didn’t tell him, but if it was that ridiculous, he had expected Seungmin to say something about it, ranted even. After all, Jisung would be more than willing to deny any assumption that they love each other no more than best friends do.

“Jeongin _ knows _you’re in love with him.”

“He can’t _ know _ something that’s not true.”

“Is it?” Felix indulged more, “Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re not in love with Seungmin.”

Jisung stared at Felix’s eyes. It should be easy, but he just stared at the freckled boy who sat in front of him for what felt like forever. He crossed his eyebrows, puffing his already round cheeks, pouting childishly. Then slowly, he managed to croak an “I’m not in love with Seungmin,” though those words came out harder than if he had admitted that he was. It even sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was convincing his ex-boyfriend. Felix stared at him, his eyebrows still raised. Jisung focused back on his food, immediately taking his eyes off Felix. Luckily, he had dropped it then.

Seungmin and Jisung spend their holidays together. Their parents had also developed some sort of bond that lead their families to be unified. It was funny to think about, how much their parents trust each other with their child as if it were their own. Jisung loved Seungmin’s parents as much as his and vice versa. Sometimes, when Jisung gets in trouble that he didn’t want his parents to know, Seungmin’s parents would get him out of it. Jisung was sure Seungmin had used the same tactic to his parents, although unlike Jisung, Seungmin was way better at staying away from trouble.

It was a tradition for Jisung to drag Seungmin to the living room, propping up a movie. This time Jisung had chosen _ The Holiday_, which as one may have guessed, is a romcom movie. Perfect for the holidays.

Halfway through the movie, Jisung was leaning forward the couch unlike Seungmin who had his legs crossed and his back leaning on the couch. The popcorn sat on his lap, his eyes never off the screen, not even for a second. He could hear his best friend talk beside him, but he ignored it, too entranced by the words coming out of the character’s lips in the middle of their confession. That was when Seungmin paused the movie halfway through, Jisung barked at him for pausing the movie at the most crucial part but he just held a soft smile.

“You know, it’s cute to watch you get so captivated by a movie.”

Jisung wasn’t expecting the compliment. But he was more shocked when he realized that blood had rushed up his cheeks. 

_ What the fuck? _

“What?”

“I’m not gonna compliment you twice,” Seungmin teased, as he always did. “Why do you love these movies so much, Sungie? They’re all _ practically _the same. They all act so dumb thinking they’re not in love or they’re searching for love and it always ends up in their favour in the end anyway. Same old storyline, with just different names and actors.”

“Actually, I always find that funny,” Jisung reasoned, looking away from his best friend and towards the paused movie they were watching, “That no matter what, the stereotypical, overused storyline, the fact that it’s _ dry_, that it’s _ draining, _watching the same process over _and _over again, it’s what always keeps me attentive. 

“I think it’s something about the characters, the way that they all share one thing in common, but it’s still so different once they realize. It’s funny because, yeah they’re just characters, but these are based off things that could happen or has happened to people in real life. We never realize that the best thing that ever happened to us are right underneath our noses. I think that’s why I love these movies so much. I’ve been searching for something for so long, but I never took in the fact that maybe it’s just right there.”

“What are you searching for?”

Jisung turned his attention back to his best friend who stared at him intensely, waiting for an answer. He gave him a warm smile, taking the opportunity to snatch the remote Seungmin was gripping.

“The remote to play my damn movie, stop distracting me!”

Seungmin rolled his eyes, falling down to his best friend’s lap, curling onto himself. Jisung chuckled softly, running his fingers on the younger’s hair, mind split between paying attention to the film or on how soft and comfortable Seungmin looked on his lap. The older smiled, and that’s when it dawned on him. 

Oh.

Right underneath his nose.

_ Literally_.

The mere sensation of being this close to Seungmin had his heart both beating like crazy but at the same time at peace. How was that possible? Jisung didn’t know but being with Seungmin, sitting that close to him brought him a sense of comfort and safety, but it also brought him anxiety, scared to be noticed and to be figured out. A mixture of all the positive and negative and Jisung figured it out then.

**jisung: **LIX  
**jisung**: SOS  
**jisung**: FUCK LEE YONGBOK ANSWER ME  
**felix: **hi to you too, and merry christmas  
**felix:** what a wonderful present to hear from you  
**jisung**: NOW IS NOT THE TIME  
**felix**: yeah duh it’s 11pm on christmas eve and im trying to: Sleep  
**jisung**: you’re right  
**felix**: thank you, now can i please go back to sleep, santa is coming  
**jisung**: no felix  
**jisung**: that’s not it  
**felix**: chill ik santa isn’t real  
**felix: **i learned the hard way bro 😔✊🏼  
**jisung**: felix. i’m serious.  
**felix**: okay you’re lowkey scaring me  
**felix**: are u ok?  
**jisung**: i’m in love with seungmin  
**felix**: yeah no shit i told u that before already   
**felix**: wait  
**felix**: Oh.

_ Fucking movies. _

Once senior year was around the corner, Jisung had tried his best to shove his feelings down as much as he could. He didn’t need more people to know about his feelings, two people was enough. Jeongin eventually started hanging out with them again, and it was awkward at first, but soon enough, the four of them started hanging out like nothing had changed. Seungmin and Jisung still as clingy, Jeongin and Felix always sharing a look that Jisung now doesn’t miss. (“We’ve been doing that for the whole six months Seungmin hyung and I dated, glad you finally noticed,” Jeongin snapped at him jokingly, no bitterness in his tone.)

Jisung tried to project his feelings to something else. Spending more time in the music room, playing whatever instrument was available. He was sure Seungmin was busy with academics anyway as he was trying to get into a university far different from Jisung’s choice. He wasn’t wrong about that, but he was shocked that Seungmin had pointed out how they haven’t hung out in a week.

Seungmin pouted at him on their front yard, holding a cheesecake for the two of them to share, “I’m sure you’re not mad, but I can’t help but overthink.”

Jisung flailed his arms, reassuring his best friend that that wasn’t the case. Seungmin cracked a smile, mumbling an “of course, I know that.”

Jokes on you, Kim Seungmin, you don’t know _ exactly _ what. Jisung was just terrible at controlling his feelings, don’t worry, soon, his love for you will die down and he would only see you as a best friend again. Though, now that he thought about it, he didn’t know what it was like to only see Seungmin as his best friend and not being in love with him. Felix was right. The grey area was completely blocked off from Jisung’s mind even before he knew about platonic and romantic.

That night they shared the cheesecake, Jisung and Seungmin talked about everything. Seungmin mentioned that someone from the university of his choice had a student who was helping out with his applications. He complained about how he was an adorable upper class but so annoying. He didn’t fail to mention that Changbin–the guy that was helping him–reminded him of how annoying Jisung was.

Soon, Changbin had grown a lot closer to Seungmin. Jisung had met him at a cafe once, the younger was trying to get them to meet, hoping that the two would get to know each other. It wasn’t hard to like Changbin. Not in the same way as Seungmin would like him, but Changbin had likeable features and personality. Yes, Changbin was pretty and it only activated the rage in Jisung’s tiny body, but he kept it to himself.

At the cafe, Jisung didn’t fail to notice how Seungmin looked at Changbin. Like the damn movies. Full of admiration, and he would look away and Changbin would look at him like he hung up the moon _ and _the stars. It hurt Jisung. It hurt him much more than he’d like to admit. 

Watching Seungmin and Changbin interact was like watching a movie. The obvious pining _ killed _ Jisung. But this time, not in a good tooth-rotting trope kind of way. It was the painful angst that the side character would feel, but in the end, the main characters would end up with each other. _ That _ hurt Jisung more than anything.

_ Again, fucking movies. _

Being apart from Seungmin in university was probably one of the hardest things Jisung had to face. It had been relatively calm and normal at first, but the one time he had gotten in deep shit trouble, Seungmin just had to be around.

Seungmin said he was out to get ramen from the convenient store when he noticed a fight breakout at one of the alleys. Once he realized it was Jisung, he stepped in. 

“What are you doing here?” Jisung asked, breathless.

“You know him?” one of the guys asked.

Jisung stared at Seungmin, “No.” _ Get out of here_, he tried to warn him.

Seungmin’s eye twitched at the sight of the blood dripping near Jisung’s lip. He should’ve stayed out of it, Jisung was giving him the perfect opportunity to.

“Let’s get some facts out,” Seungmin glared, an expression in his face Jisung couldn’t exactly decipher. Probably because his face was swollen from the guys attempting to rob him, so he couldn't exactly read anyone’s expression then. “Right now, there are two cameras pointed at you, you don’t see them but if you turn your head just 30 maybe 40 degrees to the right and the cameras would capture your face no problem.”

One would have almost fallen for it, if it wasn’t for the another with a sharper brain, stopping him from looking towards the camera. 

“During the fight, I won’t be surprised if they had caught your face already. Now I’m giving you an option to walk straight ahead and take a sharp right, keeping your head bowed down so that the other cameras won’t catch your face _ and _I won’t call the cops. The second is you beat my friend and I up and you can face yourself 14 years for assault if you're lucky.”

With no doubt, the boys had scattered the direction Seungmin had told them to take. 

“Seungmin–”

“Fuck, Jisung,” Seungmin ran to pick him up, knowing the robbers had just held him straight up.

Though Jisung would never dare to admit it, he was glad Seungmin was there. It was as if he was the knight in shining armour for Jisung. He’s always been. From always being there to save his ass in elementary school when he was being bullied to when he was figuring out his sexuality. Seungmin was always there in case of anything.

They weren’t far from Jisung’s dorm, so Seungmin talked to Jisung as much as he could. Telling him how they’re almost there and to try harder walking. Once settled in his room, Seungmin went through the first aid kit that Jisung had learned to bring with him ever since his mother set him and Seungmin up to take the course.

“Does this happen often?” Seungmin asked, now preparing the cottons and alcohol Jisung assumed he was going to use to clean up the blood on Jisung’s face. “Jisung, answer me.”

Seungmin’s voice was cold, but his eyes were solemn, like he was sad for Jisung’s situation. It was like that in the movies sometimes though. The main character being a damsel in distress and their knight in shining armour coming to rescue them with so much agony.

“You know you didn’t had to jump in, right?” Jisung asked, wincing as Seungmin pressed a cotton swab to his lip.

“I know,” Seungmin sighed, “I just had to protect you. It’s like an instinct,” Jisung stared at him, “I don’t know, okay? But you never answered my question.”

“No. It’s the first time.”

“Okay,” Seungmin breathed out. “Transfer to my uni.”

_ And see you flirt with Changbin hyung? No thanks. _

“Minnie, I love my course here. I can avoid them, and if they want my money again, I can just call you and you’ll know how to deal with them.”

“Jisung–”

“I’m kidding,” Jisung grinned, wincing once more at the way Seungmin was pressuring his wound.

“I can’t take care of you if you’re here.”

“I don’t need you to,” he muttered. It wasn’t in a whiny tone, more of a _ please let me actually stay here and be far from you. _

“Your program is practically the same as Changbin hyung’s. His best friend, Bang Chan, is also in the same program, and they have this ongoing search for their third party.”

“Are you setting me up on a rap group with your boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” Seungmin’s eyebrows furrowed, “Changbin hyung isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Yet?” Jisung asked, forcing a smirk to come out of him. Maybe through teasing it would look less obvious how hurt and in love he was with his best friend.

Seungmin tilted his head to his left, Jisung chuckled at it. 

“What?”

“You know, you tilt your head to your right when you're confused, but when you tilt it to your left, then you’re disappointed.”

“Now is not the time to perk on my actions.” Jisung stopped smiling at that, knowing that Seungmin wasn’t in the mood to joke around. “You’re transferring universities,” he said firmly, “And you can’t say no or else, I’ll tell your mother about this.”

Jisung sighed in defeat. 

“I don’t want to room with you.”

Seungmin pouted at that, “Why not?”

Jisung just smiled, “You’d hate my slobbiness, I’d hate to always clean my room.” 

“I’m basically used to it now, you know?”

“Still,” Jisung tried. _ Please agree, for once. _

“Okay,” Seungmin agreed. “Felix is looking for a roommate anyway.”

Having to be at the same university as Seungmin was harder than being alone. This time, Jisung would see him. Sometimes he’d walk with Changbin, both a smile on their faces the whole time. 

If this was a movie, Jisung would be shown in corners, staring at the two eat some lunch together, their smiles would make their eyes turn into moon crescent. Perhaps, Jisung’s life is a movie after all. Except, the bad ending.

Jisung still didn’t know if Seungmin was still dating or if he ever did date Changbin. Not that he wanted to know anyway. If he finds out that Seungmin was indeed dating Changbin, it would be harder to work with him and Chan in the studio. And so far, he’s enjoying it, so he doesn’t plan on ruining it anytime soon.

He’s enjoying the fact that he can make up excuses to Seungmin whenever he’d ask to hang out. He’ll say something along the lines of “Chan hyung is working on a project with me” or “I asked Chan hyung if I can use the studio for my project”. They weren't _ all _lies. Jisung did have projects and Chan and Changbin were there to help him. He just used the lie too often that he won’t exactly be shocked if Seungmin barges in his dorm room, asking for an explanation.

Which is what was happening.

“Alright, what’s the problem?”

Jisung groans, letting his body fall to his bed. Felix wasn’t in the dorm then, he was at the university writing his last final. Seungmin had knocked three sets of three knocks before Jisung even managed to drag his body off the bed.

“What problem? There’s no problem, everything is nice and jazzy,” he lies. Seungmin knows it already. 

Damn those stereotypical your best friend knows everything about you trope. Damn you, movies.

“It’s just,” Jisung breathes out. “Changbin hyung.”

“Changbin hyung?” Seungmin repeated, an underlying tone of confusion lingers. Jisung fiddles on his shirt, hoping that Seungmin doesn't go further into the argument. They've never fought ever since the Hyunjin incident, at least not about boys.

“It’s dumb.”

“Then explain it to me.” Seungmin pleads, his eyes asking for an explanation. An acceptable reasoning. His tone even begging for Jisung to just give him the actual reason and not dance around the topic.

Jisung couldn’t say it. How could he? It didn’t seem like the perfect time to admit his hidden feelings for him when Seungmin was disappointed in him. He knew that he was based on both his head position and his tone, and it sucks to have Seungmin be disappointed in you. It’s like your mother but he guilt trips you harder.

“Wait, Min,” Jisung calls, when Seungmin turns his body around towards the door, ready to leave. 

His best friend looks back at him, still searching for answers, maybe even trying to study the latter. A frown was visible in his face, puckering his lips a bit. _ Damn it, Seungmin, you’re making this harder. _

“What?”

“I need to tell you something,” he croaks. Seungmin's shoulders tensed down, his mouth gaping. “Fuck, I just, I don't want to ruin our friendship.”

“Oh,” he whispers, his eyes more shocked now rather than begging. Jisung's heart drops. Had Seungmin figured it out before he even say it? “Ji, do you…” Seungmin trails.

By then, Jisung could feel his heard thumping faster, louder and if Seungmin had just paid closer attention, he would realize that Jisung was in love with him.

“Do you like Changbin hyung?”

“What?”

“What?” Seungmin repeats.

“No, I don't like Changbin hyung, that’s gross.” Jisung gags. Seungmin stares at him, his expression still unreadable. Or Jisung tries not to read it, afraid that_ he _ would be the one whose expression got read. Jisung tries again, sucking in the air and says, “I don’t like Changbin hyung _ that _way.”

“Then what _ is _ the reason?”

Jisung sighs, anytime now, he thought to himself. He looks at Seungmin straight in the eyes, his brain still not functioning and not saying any of the words he has been trying to say the past however long they’ve been arguing.

“Jisung!” Seungmin whines, “Will you please tell me?”

“I like _you_,” Jisung finally answers, looking away this time. Before Seungmin could say anything, Jisung continues, “I’m _in_ _love _with you.”

Seungmin’s breathing hitches and he lets out a gasp.

A _ gasp_. That’s it.

What was he even expecting? For Seungmin to realize that he’s been in love with him all along as well? Maybe if Jisung hadn’t been so interested in rom-com films, where the best friends fall in love and reciprocating their feelings he wouldn’t have expected so much. Because this is real life and real life doesn’t always go the way you want it to. 

“Ji–”

“No,” he interrupts. “I don’t–I’m not expecting _ anything_.” _ Yeah right, _he hears his subconscious tell him. But he doesn’t let that overcome his actions and whatever he wants to say. “So don’t try to pity me.”

You know that moment where it’s quiet in a scene from a movie, nothing but the sound of a heartbreaking soundtrack to fill the scene because the secret is out but the resolution wasn’t what it was supposed to be? That. That’s exactly what Jisung thought of his life right now. And he _ hates _ it.

“I–I gotta go,” Seungmin bids before leaving the dorm room. 

Jisung plumps down on his bed. Everything finally crashing down to him. He expected the least, yet it still ended up breaking his heart more than he thought. He lies on his back, feeling his tears slowly roll down the side of his face. Then, he laughs maniacally, tears still flowing. 

How funny how he always thought his life was like a movie, but he had forgotten happy endings don't always happen.

Jisung went back home that night. He knew Seungmin wouldn’t come back until the next day. They were supposed to go together, but with Jisung’s confession it would just be awkward to sit beside each other on the bus for more than 2 hours. 

He greets his mother with a hug, mumbling an “I missed you, how are you?”

“I’m fine, baby. How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Really?” Jisung stares at his mother, dropping his bag on the living room, and his body falls face first on the couch.

“I will be.”

“Seungmin’s mom called me this afternoon.” Ah. Fuck. “She said that Seungmin asked her if you were coming down tonight.” Jisung doesn’t say anything, “You two fighting?”

“No, it’s just,” Jisung tries to look for an answer, “We had a misunderstanding?”

His mother just stared at him, waiting for more explanation than a simple misunderstanding that even he knew was a simple guess. 

“It’s nothing, we’re best friends, we can resolve this, it’s okay.”

“Jisung,” she calls out, running his fingers through his hair. “Anything you want to tell me?”

The boy raises his head and rests his head on his mother’s shoulder, “I’m…” he sniffs, “Ma, I’m in love with him and he–he–” 

“Oh, baby,” his mother cooes, hands still playing with his hair softly. Jisung just cries. He doesn’t know for which reason. If it was because he was back home to his mother’s arms? That Seungmin didn’t reciprocate the same feelings? That he finished yet another term in university? Maybe it was just a mixture of everything. Everything coming up at him, giving him plenty of reasons to breakdown. So he just let’s it.

He later fell asleep in his mother’s arms.

***

“I told you,” Changbin tells Seungmin, sitting on Seungmin’s desk–which the younger had warned a couple of times for him to get off. In the end, Changbin won and still sat on his desk.

“You don’t get a say in this,” Seungmin grumbles, his face still shoved on his bed, “And he still thinks I’m _ into _ you.”

“Remind me whose idea was it to not tell Jisung that you rejected me before I even asked because you knew you were in love with him but were afraid he didn’t like you back?” Seungmin looks up, flips him off before shoving his head onto the bed again. “Seriously, Seungmin, you have to go back there.”

“I can’t!” the younger gets up, staring right at his roommate. “He thinks I don’t love him back and I _ do_, but my stupid brain failed me.”

“For someone who wants to be a lawyer, you sure do lack the words to defend yourself.” Seungmin throws a pillow at him, “Ya!”

“You’re _ no _help, hyung.”

“I’ve been trying to help you ever since your senior year, Min. It’s been two years, this is on you now.”

Seungmin pouts.

“No, don’t give me that look. My boyfriend is coming in any time soon and I don't want you as a bother,” Changbin sighs when Seungmin’s pout didn’t change, “Don’t you have to go home anyway?”

“I don’t–I can’t–I–” he gives up, “It’s the holidays and I doubt Jisung wants to even see my face.”

“Not if you confessed.”

Seungmin sighs, dropping his body on the bed. A set of glow-in-the-dark universe stuck on the ceiling that Jisung got for him as a parting present. It reminded him of when Jisung came out, and how he held the boy in his arms, how he said I love you easily and—

“You and Chan hyung were best friends right?” Changbin nods, waiting for Seungmin to continue. “For how long?”

“Since middle school.”

“See, I’ve been best friends with Jisung since _ preschool_. Just imagine how hard it is to admit _ my _ feelings!”

“I don’t know why you’re still being a coward, Seungmin,” Changbin admits. “He confessed already, he took the risk of your friendship, _ what _ is stopping you?”

Seungmin stays quiet for awhile, fiddling with his hands, “What if… what if we tried and we don’t work out?”

Changbin chuckles, the younger throws another pillow at him. 

“Can I be honest with you?”

“You’ve always been blunt, I don’t know why you’re asking for permission now.”

Changbin actively ignores him. “Remember when I first met Jisung at the cafe, I asked you if you were dating him?”

Seungmin thinks for awhile, “Yes, but that was because you were trying to date me.” This time, Changbin throws the pillow back at the younger. Seungmin laughs a bit, catching the pillow and hugging it to himself.

“Yeah, but I asked because I _ thought _ you guys were dating and I had no chance,” he confesses. “And Jeongin, didn’t he break up with you because he thought you acted more interested in Jisung more than him, your actual boyfriend?”

Seungmin purses his lip, “Are you saying if we did date, nothing would change?”

“Well no,” Changbin answers, his tongue clicking, “You can kiss him like you always wanted.” Seungmin glares at him, “You can’t deny it.”

Before Seungmin can answer Changbin, the door erupted with knocks. Changbin got up from the desk, running to the door. 

Seungmin watches as Changbin climbs on to his boyfriend. The younger smiles to himself for a while. If Jisung was beside him, he’d say something along the lines of “this looks like a scene in a movie, but not the happy ending yet, no, it would be the fluff part, and you just get to enjoy it”. And he would smile like the goofy ones he would wear all the time, the love on the screen emitting from his own pupils. And no matter how much Seungmin hates his movie analogies, he _ loves _seeing how Jisung’s eyes would sparkle at the thought of a movie.

He knew he loves Jisung. He knew _ exactly _ when he fell in love with him. It was the summer just before they entered high school, when Jisung came out to him. He had liked him before then, thinking it was just a stupid crush that will eventually end. His sister made him realize this when Seungmin had bribed her with money to get Jisung out of trouble in school (“No offence, Seungmin, but even _ I _wouldn’t do that for you.”) Throughout the years, he found the crush growing bigger until eventually, he fell in love with his best friend.

He did like Jeongin in the beginning, but he made the mistake of thinking it was the type of liking where you’d start dating them. He never even planned on dating him, but when Jeongin asked, Seungmin agreed, because he _did _have feelings, just not the same ones Jeongin wanted. Not long after, Jeongin broke up with him. It wasn’t a surprise really. Jeongin convinced Seungmin to confess to Jisung, so that night he found himself on Jisung’s door, with an elaborative plan and a letter to confess with. Then he remembered that he was dating Felix, and that hurt him, and he cried in front of Jisung.

Seungmin frowns at the memory. 

“If life was a movie,” he recalls Jisung saying once, “I'm glad you play a supporting role."

Seungmin snorted, “Just the supporting role?”

“Well, you can't be main protagonist, that’s me!”

“Love interest?” he mused.

Jisung looked at him, pale, then softly breaking into a smile. “You know, if you were my love interest, I wouldn’t complain.”

“But we’re best friends.”

“Hypothetically, I would choose you.”

“Why?”

“Hm,” Jisung hummed. “You’re like—how do I word this—you’re the type of love interest one would not fail to fall in love with. Always so nice, knew his limits, inspire me to do better, you’re the ultimate package.”

“So, you won’t be against the idea of me being your love interest?” Jisung stared at him blankly, “Hypothetically, in a movie?” he quickly saved.

His best friend smiled softly, “Hypothetically, I’d choose you over anyone to be my love interest.”

Seungmin got up. Chan had walked in their room now, Changbin still clinging on to him like a koala.

“Where are you going?” Changbin calls out. 

Seungmin held the door open, a smile on his face, “It’s time for me to be the love interest.” He closes the door behind him, hearing a good luck from the couple.

He was going to claim his part. 

***

Jisung stares at Seungmin standing in front of him. He had just gotten up from the couch, his hair still messy and he was sure that his eyes were swollen from all the tears he shed the night before.

“Can I come in?” Seungmin asks, breaking the silence. Jisung doesn’t say anything, he just moves to the side. Not that he didn’t want to, but he was sure that his mouth was dry and he hasn't even washed his mouth yet. 

“I’m just gonna freshen up. You uh make yourself feel at home,” Jisung says quietly, running up the stairs to his room.

Staring at himself in the mirror, he was horrified by how puffy his whole face looked. He steps in the shower, rehearsing what he wants to tell Seungmin. It won’t be awkward, he convinces himself, it’s just Seungmin. Seungmin, your best friend. Seungmin, the person you’re in love with who doesn’t love you back. Great. Just Seungmin.

Minutes has passed since he stepped into the shower. So far he’s made 32 conversations with himself and how it would go down with Seungmin once he goes back downstairs. None of them ever stuck to the right path, but he knew that that was the universe’s sign for him to just jump out of the shower and stop rehearsing. 

Jisung throws a huge hoodie on, a pair of sweats and followed the smell of eggs coming from the kitchen. He expected his mother to be the one cooking, with Seungmin chatting it up with her, but it was just Seungmin in the kitchen.

He finally turns around, a small smile evident on his face and putting the food down the middle of the dining table. There were already two bowls prepared on the table, both filled with rice. Jisung sat down after Seungmin gestured at the chair beside him. 

The older hesitantly started eating after Seungmin. Though almost immediately, he had his mouth full of rice and Seungmin’s cooking. He enjoys eating food made by Seungmin, maybe that's also one of the main reasons he’s fallen in love. People always say a way to a man’s heart is through their stomach right?

When Jisung looked up from his food, he noticed Seungmin’s fond smile. 

“What?” Jisung asks, mouth still full.

“Nothing,” Seungmin chuckles quietly.

Jisung nods, putting his attention back to his food, but he wanted–no, he needed to address the elephant in the room one way or another.

“What are you doing here?”

“Let’s finish breakfast first,” he answers quietly, now the one more focused on the food than the other.

“Look, if you’re here to reject me, just–”

“I’m not here to reject you.”

Jisung looks up from his food. His eyes widens at Seungmin’s words. _ Not here to reject me? What does _ that _ mean? _ He couldn't focus on his food anymore. Seungmin’s words echoing in the back of his mind. _ I’m not here to reject you. _ Would that mean he’s _ accepting _his love? Did he love him back?

“I can practically hear you thinking, Sungie,” Seungmin snorts. 

“You know lawyers typically go straight to the point when trying to say something.”

He laughs, “I know.” Then his face becomes serious for a second, “Remember the time I asked you why you love movies so much?”

“Remind me which specific time because I’m pretty sure I never shut up about movies.”

“Christmas, when we watched _ The Holiday_.”

Jisung stops his bite halfway through, looking up to Seungmin. He remembers that night as clear as the sky. That was the night he had finally admitted to himself and to someone that he’s in love with Seungmin. If he could, he’d even relive that day multiple times. The feeling was unreplicable, and though every minute spent with Seungmin was amazing, that exact night was the beginning of the love that was waiting to bloom. From that night, the feeling that had started only grew bigger each day.

“You said it’s funny how we search for things but we never realize it all ends up being right underneath our noses so I climbed onto your lap, wanting you to realize that _ that’s _who you’re supposed to be searching for.”

“W–what are you trying to say?”

Seungmin nibbles on his bottom lip, “Jisung, I–” he laughs to himself, “I want to claim my part.”

“Of what?”

“God, you're so—” Seungmin stopped himself. “The love interest. The one who has loved you ever since you were in middle school.”

Jisung drops his chopsticks, waking him up from just staring at Seungmin. He runs for the rolling utensils before looking back up at his best friend. His soft features were either making Jisung’s heart beat faster or calming him down. Maybe both, he was never sure of his emotions when it comes to Seungmin.

“You’ve what–?”

“Normally I wouldn’t be saying it twice,” Seungmin grins, “But I think to make up for the time I was a coward to tell you, I want to say it again.

“I love you, Jisung.”

“But you didn’t–”

“I was a coward.”

“When–”

“I was a coward.”

“You–”

“Are a coward,” Seungmin rolls his eyes finishing the sentence, “Can’t you just say you love me back again? I need the reassurance.”

“You love me?” Jisung repeats, Seungmin nods. “The same way I love you?”

“I sure hope so,” the younger breathes out, soft chuckles escaping his lips. “Sorry it took a while.”

Jisung, who was frozen in his spot for the whole confession, had finally gotten up, tackling Seungmin down on his chair. He mumbles things to him like “I hate you so much, I thought our friendship was over”.

Seungmin could just laugh at it, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s tiny waist. He softly formed circles on his back, reassuring the older that everything was real, that it was all happening. Soothing him with gentle words and repeating the words “I love you” to make up for all the times that he failed to tell him. He wishes to continue telling him those words, meaning them more each time and never getting tired. He hopes that Jisung would hear those three words and think of it as if it’s his first time hearing Seungmin say it to him.

In movies, best friends stay as best friends until the end, supporting and cheering each other on. Jisung thought he and Seungmin were _ those _ typical best friends from the movies. But he was wrong. He and Seungmin found themselves falling in love with each other along the way. And sitting on Seungmin’s lap, his arms wrapped around the boy, he doesn’t wish for anything else in the world.

If they were a movie, Jisung had found his happy ending. (And bonus, his love interest was exactly who he had always dreamed of.)

***

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/seungcentric)


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